You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
