Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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