Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
ttyl tear gas
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.