Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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