Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.

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  (248): I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose. http://tfl.nu/ckrs
  Replies (12) Good night (1097) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch

  (740): View more from Ohio

  enter at your own risk

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  (917): I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch (740): enter at your own risk http://tfl.nu/z8ud
  Replies (5) Good night (2355) Bad night (737)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.

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  (312): You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today. http://tfl.nu/8lzo
  Replies (4) Good night (2878) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!

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  (410): Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!! http://tfl.nu/gjd6
  Replies (8) Good night (4514) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart

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  (909): flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart http://tfl.nu/bteu
  Replies (17) Good night (4877) Bad night (1782) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning

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  (203): im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning http://tfl.nu/g6xa
  Replies (16) Good night (3721) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I love boston

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  (781): The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH (781): I love boston http://tfl.nu/jz0y
  Replies (37) Good night (8366) Bad night (924)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends

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  (856): nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends http://tfl.nu/ghdi
  Replies (16) Good night (1054) Bad night (7678) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.

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  (612): Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls. http://tfl.nu/jpdx
  Replies (15) Good night (3205) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.

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  (510): note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast. http://tfl.nu/6g44
  Replies (4) Good night (2257) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you

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  (519): I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you http://tfl.nu/mvu5
  Replies (6) Good night (2847) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.

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  (815): She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode. http://tfl.nu/19jg
  Replies (6) Good night (1065) Bad night (2792) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet

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  (803): Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet http://tfl.nu/m2pn
  Replies (3) Good night (1277) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."

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  (814): He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van." http://tfl.nu/71uy
  Replies (5) Good night (1239) Bad night (363)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.

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  (330): I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it. http://tfl.nu/otfu
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt

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