There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just gift wrapped bread.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
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She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Houston, we have a squirter
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its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.