Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
