so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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