we're blogging at a bar
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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