return my video game
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize