I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
