she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
