Who wears a wallet chain?!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
