I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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