last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
