Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize