are you still at the devil's house?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize