I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
