Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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