thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
