Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
