Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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