Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
