I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
