Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
