kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just found puke in my bra..
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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