I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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