come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
