it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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