She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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