Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
