She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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