Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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