i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
