When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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