someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
