shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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