So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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