South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize