i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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