Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
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