he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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