my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize