I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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