sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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