just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This is my gift to your gina
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize