If i come over, it means nothing
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
