They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
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Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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