Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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