You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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