Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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