There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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