i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
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I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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