I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
