sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I still have a little drunk in my system
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
