you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
