just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
