their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize