I faked an abortion last night.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
