"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
